Reflections
Comfortably Numb
This is the script of a speech by Fadilah, a student from Temasek Polytechnic and a participant in one of our Speaking Skills Workshop in March 2009. We trust her insights and reflections will spur us on to step out on a journey beyond our comfort zone…
Hi everyone!
My name is Fadilah and I’m going to share with you my thoughts on failure.
Sometime ago, during my school holidays, I was feeling quite bored so I went to the net to watch The Biggest Loser on Youtube. As I was searching for one of the episodes, I came across an audio/video called ‘Jillian Michaels’ ‘Failure’’. And at the end of the audio Jillian Michaels said this:
“When we don’t try and when we don’t reach out, we don’t make efforts, we have nothing. Then you’re just numb and that’s no way to live your life.”
At that point, it just hit me. I was thinking ‘wow, what she said is so true!’.
Before I continue, can I just do a quick check to see how many of you already know who Jillian Michaels is? Well, if you have watched The Biggest Loser (US) before, you would’ve probably seen her. Jillian Michaels is one of the fitness trainers on the reality show. Basically, in the show, Jillian Michaels and another trainer, Bob Harper, both train an extremely overweight group of contestants to help them lose weight and change their lives. There are 7 seasons altogether to date and the amazing thing is that all the winners from all the seasons except for one season, have all emerged from Jillian’s team. The only season her team did not win was because she was not in the show! That itself speaks tremendously about Jillian Michaels as a motivator because I believe that physical challenges are really more mental and psychological than physical.
Besides being a fitness expert, Jillian Michaels is also a life coach, author, radio host, blogger, American Cancer Society Ambassador and creator of DVDs, video games, and even a line of apparel ! Amazing!
Let me just tell you briefly what the video segment is about. Basically, it evolves around fitness and the segment is from her radio show. Somewhere in the middle of it, Jillian Michaels mentioned she came across an article in Time Magazine called ‘With sadness is a good thing’. Jillian shared her views on that and she had some pretty interesting points.
Jillian said that many people are afraid to try and there are those who suppress their sadness with drugs or anti-depressants. She suggested that these people have one thing in common: that is, they are comfortably numb. Being in a state of comfortable numbness stops your ability to feel and learn and grow from a loss.
And then there is this set of people who don’t try. They don’t reach out. They don’t grow. They don’t risk. They don’t try for the promotion or a better job that perhaps they are worthy of. They don’t dare risk to ask the guy out or ask the girl out. As such, they don’t experience failure. They are just comfortably numb. They don’t get the lows of life, but they don’t get the highs either.
Jillian Michaels mentioned in the segment that it’s essential to us as human beings to evolve in every facet of life: emotionally, physically, psychologically. That’s how we become more complex human beings and without that, we’re stagnant. And when we’re stagnant, we’re not really living and we’re not experiencing life. Ultimately, the purpose of Jillian’s message is to urge us not to be afraid to try.
I believe many of us are victims of this. When we do not try at all, to me, it’s just a wasted life. Obviously, everyone is afraid or has that fear of failing but every time you fail, it opens up an opportunity for you to grow. Grow from your pain. Grow from your sadness and learn to overcome them without using drugs or medication. Using drugs will only inhibit your ability to make proper choices and it stops you from growing because your feelings are numb.
It’s an interesting point for me because as I think about some of my experience of disappointment and sadness in the past, I realize that I didn’t deal with some so well. I’m definitely guilty of going ‘Ugh, I knew it. I shouldn’t have done this or that…’ But what I realize now is that I should be proud of myself that I had put myself out there, that I had tried and taken risk and at the same time I can learn from it and grow.
My take on this whole topic is that when you’re going through tough times, ask why, and ask what lesson can you learn from it. Most importantly, ask how we can learn to grow from it.
Remember what Jillian Michaels said, “We don’t learn anything when we win; we learn everything when we fail”. It’s better to fail and learn than to be comfortable Numb.